Why flexibility in OCD recovery matters - and how to do it!

Hey everyone! One of the most helpful recovery skills I've learned is flexibility. As someone with OCD, developing this skill was not easy, but it was so, so worth it. This blog is all about the importance of flexibility and adaptability in OCD recovery and how to begin to develop these skills. I hope it helps! :)

So...

OCD thrives on rigidity. It wants things done in a very specific way, at a very specific time, with no room for error, doubt, or change. OCD gives us hope that if we follow the rules perfectly, we’ll stay safe and keep others safe - it is also constantly chasing certainty.

But OCD recovery needs the complete opposite. Life is rarely predictable. Our routines get disrupted, plans fall through, the strategies that used to work stop working. And if OCD recovery is going to last for us, we have to make sure it's working within that unpredictability and not against it. And that’s where flexibility comes in!

Let's learn all about flexibility in recovery and how to put it into our everyday recovery.

What Flexibility Actually Looks Like

Flexibility in OCD recovery doesn’t mean aiming to be carefree or ignoring anxiety! It means developing the ability to change direction without immediately needing to feel certain or in control. For someone with OCD, this isn't always easy, but it does get easier the more we practise!

Here are some examples of how I use flexibility in my own recovery. Maybe you could have a go at some of these approaches too!

• Adjusting ERP tasks - I’m a human, not a robot, so my resilience levels change each day. There are days when an exposure feels too overwhelming, and I used to end up beating myself up about my failure to complete my ERP exercises. I learn that instead of skipping it altogether, I could reduce the intensity or break the exposure into smaller parts. That way, I stay engaged in recovery while also respecting my capacity in that moment.

  
  

• Responding to setbacks with flexibility - If I give in to a compulsion, I try not to let it ruin the rest of my day. Instead of restarting everything from scratch or giving up, I put in some self-care activities, remind myself that I am worth all the compassion in the world, and at some point, move on to my next planned exposure. This helps me stay on track, even when OCD sets me off course for a little while.

  
  

• Adjusting expectations - I stop aiming to eliminate all anxiety or intrusive thoughts (because that's not the goal, that isn't part of the human experience!). Instead, I focus on how I respond to discomfort. I measure progress by how much uncertainty I’m willing to feel or how often I choose not to do a compulsion, not by how many thoughts pop up.

  
  

• Trying different coping tools - Some days, my usual strategies like breathing exercises or mindfulness don’t work as well. When this happens, I experiment with other tools, such as grounding techniques, movement, or gentle distraction. Being open to different support helps me find what works for me in that specific moment.

  
  

• Pacing recovery differently - Sometimes I feel like I'm not recovering 'quickly enough' and can begin to feel beaten and frustrated. Instead of pushing myself too hard or feeling tempted to quit, I adjust my goals and take smaller, steadier steps. This shift helps me build confidence and sustainability rather than burnout.

  
  

• Shifting self-talk and attitudes - When intrusive thoughts show up (as they do - woo hoo!), I practice responding with self-compassion rather than self-criticism. I work on noticing the thoughts without attaching meaning or judgment to them. This helps reduce shame and gives me space to keep moving forward. I literally practised saying self-compassion statements to myself out loud so I could easily recall them in times of need. It helped!

• Opening up to support or adjusting the support I ask for - Instead of trying to tackle OCD entirely alone, I reach out to a therapist, a support group, or someone I trust. Letting others in gives me encouragement, accountability, and guidance that makes the journey feel a lot less heavy.

  
  

• Changing aspects of the environment

  I support myself by reducing access to reassurance traps like Googling or seeking repeated validation 'just in case'. I might change my phone settings* or ask someone I trust to help me stay accountable. When my environment supports recovery, resisting compulsions becomes a little easier, and I can build from there.

*Just a note on this, making changes to help you avoid certain feelings or behaviours can be a compulsion. If you'd like to know more about the difference, please check this post out.

Each of these moments may seem small, but they involve flexibility, a willingness to accept imperfection, and they give us practise sitting with uncertainty, and that's a skill that's always helpful for us to practise!

The Importance of Flexibility

As we go through OCD recovery, we'll collect a ton of helpful strategies and things that work, and they will always be useful. Keep these ideas close by for when you need them. What works on each separate day may be very different depending on how we're feeling and what's going on around us, and this is where flexibility comes in. There will be days when exposures feel doable, and days when even the smallest task feels overwhelming. Flexibility allows us to adapt to each need as it comes up.

And remember! Just like pretty much everything in OCD recovery, every time we practice something that feels very new and makes us feel uncomfortable, we are getting better at it! I've been building up my flexibility for a while now, and I can assess how I'm doing and what might be helpful pretty quickly. My work on self-compassion stops me from judging myself if something doesn't quite go to plan and allows me to put my energies into something more helpful, like finding alternative strategies to help me feel better.

This mindset helps me to keep moving forward, which is 100% the direction I want to be working towards, even if it’s just at a slower pace sometimes. :)

Sending you all loads of love as always,

Catherine xx

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