10 Practical Ways to Support Young People with OCD
- Catherine Benfield
- Jun 10
- 6 min read
If you are supporting a young person with OCD, please know that you are not alone. So many of us are out there, trying to navigate the system as best we can. This post is all about how to support your young person - I hope it offers some relief.
Before I start, I just want to say that supporting young people with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, informed, and kind. OCD is a tricky, shape-shifting condition that can make everyday life feel overwhelming both for the person experiencing it and the people who care about them. Showing yourself compassion is so important.
Learn About OCD (Really Learn)
Knowing how OCD works is an essential first step. Read books, watch videos, and listen to the voices of lived experience. OCD isn’t about liking things neat or being a bit fussy. It’s a mental health condition where someone experiences intrusive, unwanted, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and feels the need to do something (a compulsion) to relieve the anxiety those thoughts cause. Imagine your brain shouting, “If you don’t pray for the next two hours, something terrible will happen to your dog.” The compulsion doesn’t feel like a choice — it feels urgent, terrifying, and very real.
Some intrusive thoughts can be extremely difficult to discuss; they can involve harm and sexual violence. Remember, these thoughts do not indicate intent. Intrusive thoughts go against the values of the person experiencing them.
Things to try:
Have a good read through the Taming Olivia website and blog. Particularly, these pages.
Create Space for Open Conversations
OCD is full of shame and secrecy. Let your young person know they can talk about anything — even the scary, weird, or upsetting stuff — without being judged.
Saying something like, “You don’t have to hide how you’re feeling. I’m listening.” can make a huge difference.
Even if you don’t fully understand yet, being a safe space for that young person is everything.
Lead with Patience and Empathy
OCD can be extremely frustrating, and some days, OCD will win. That doesn’t mean your young person (or you) has failed. Try to meet their (and your) struggle with kindness, not pressure.
Instead of: “Just try to stop doing that.” Try: “This looks really tough. I’m here with you while you sit through it.”
Validation doesn’t solve the problem, but it softens the loneliness.
Try to resist joining in with Compulsions
I've seen world-leading OCD therapists give totally different opinions on this point, so I'm going to give a rounded view that encompasses both. It’s tempting to help ease your young person's anxiety by checking, cleaning, or reassuring — but that fuels the OCD cycle. In a perfect world, instead of reassuring, try encouraging them to deal with the uncertainty. So, for example, if they say, “Are you sure I didn’t offend them?” for the 10th time, try: “I know your OCD is pushing for reassurance, but I believe you can sit with the uncertainty. Let’s try that together.” The idea here is that you're not keeping the OCD cycles going, and although it feels mean, you're actually helping them break free from the cycle.
However, however...
I saw the great Paul Salkovskis talk about this...
If your child is highly distressed and begging for reassurance, as a parent, caregiver, teacher, or adult, you will want to do everything you can to help them feel better in the short term. You may live with that young person, and you have to manage the condition every day together. If you do offer reassurance, don't beat yourself up about it.
Explore Healthy Coping Tools Together
OCD isn’t something you can usually 'distract away' from, but some tools help build resilience. Gentle movement, journaling, art, nature, or mindfulness can help regulate emotions outside OCD’s grip.
It can sometimes help a young person if you set aside a calm corner at home or school with soft textures, drawing materials, or a soothing playlist. Watching a feel-good film or TV series can also be helpful sometimes. Mine is always The Office!
Encourage Professional Support
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), particularly Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is the most effective treatment for OCD. Medication can also be helpful. If OCD is interfering with everyday life, professional help is essential and shouldn't be a last resort. Depending on the young person, their age, and the nature of their intrusive thoughts, this suggestion may receive considerable resistance. This is completely understandable, and although frustrating, there are a few things you could try.
Things to try:
Talk to the GP/Dr about OCD to make sure they understand it. That way, your young person will know they're going to be understood. Read this for a more in-depth look at going to see your GP/Dr.
See if your young person will join a support group to normalise what they're experiencing. Speaking to their peers may encourage them to see a professional. You can use an internet search to help you find an OCD support group, but please make sure you check its credentials. A support group run by an OCD charity is always the best bet because the staff and volunteers who run the sessions will have training.
Remember to offer to go with them if it helps. You’re their safe base!
Read -
A note about access to mental health treatment.
I'm writing this in Mental Health Awareness Week and can see just how many posts and articles there are about how challenging it can be to get an appointment/decent treatment. If this is you, I'm sorry. It's rubbish. If I were you, I'd keep making noise about getting support with the GP and asking for therapy, and at the same time, I'd be talking to the charities about what to do and trying to join support groups for both my child and me as a supporting adult. I'd also be reading everything I could get my hands on about supporting a young person with OCD - so you're already off to a great start here, but there are more books and resources - see here.
Get Curious About Triggers
Every person with OCD is different. For one young person, it might be fears about contamination. For another, it’s thoughts about harming loved ones.
Obsessions can also jump around, which is always a bit of a surprise at first, and you can end up playing a game of whack-a-mole with symptoms. Knowing this is empowering because it can help you recognise it as OCD immediately.
Instead of: “That doesn’t make sense.” Try: “Tell me what OCD’s saying right now.”
Name the fear because it loses power when brought into the light.
Set Realistic, Gentle Goals
Recovery is not a straight line. Some days your young person will resist a compulsion; other days they’ll be overwhelmed. Try to celebrate the effort, not perfection.
So, for example, they touched a feared object without washing their hands. Even for a few seconds. That’s huge. Name it. Celebrate it. They sat with a harm-based intrusive thought and practised their mindfulness - that's massive! Celebrate that too!
Support Structure Without Rigidity
OCD can create chaos or make someone feel they must follow rigid routines. A healthy routine (with flexibility and without giving in to compulsions) can offer a sense of calm and predictability.
Things to try:
Build a day that balances school, rest, connection, and fun. Make room for joy, even if it's in small, stolen moments.
Connect Them With Community
I touched on this before, but it's worth mentioning it again. OCD can feel isolating. Help young people find spaces where they’re not “the only one". Peer support, online communities, or even a single friend who gets it can make all the difference.
Things to try:
Check out these pages - Information and Resources
ALSO! It's so important to be safe online and use trusted sources. There are influencers in all spaces online with wonderful intentions who can give out incorrect information. This post will help you keep your young person safer online whilst using social media. Please also keep an eye out for OCD coaches who are uncredited and may do more harm than good. You can read more about how to protect yourself and your young person from this type of unethical practice here.
Final Thought
Supporting a young person with OCD is not about fixing them. It’s about walking beside them as they learn to live with the noise until it quiets down.
It can be heartbreaking to watch a young person suffer because of OCD, but please always remember that with love, patience, and the right tools, OCD can be managed and life can be full again. This world is full of adults with OCD living fulfilling and happy lives despite really struggling with it as a young person.
Sending you and your young people so much love,
Catherine xx
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This post has been all about supporting young people but if you would like to learn more about how to develop well-being and coping skills for yourself while you support them, please check out our bright and compassionate resources. You can learn how to develop self-compassion in our Self-Compassion Pack and how to develop resilience and persistence in our Growth Mindset Pack. We have a children's and young people's section coming very soon, so please keep an eye out for that.
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