There's no denying that OCD is a complex, time-consuming, and often painful condition, and things might be slightly more manageable if somehow the universe knew that and didn't send any other challenges our way.
But as we all know, that is rarely what happens in life.
Juggling additional challenging life events on top of OCD can leave us feeling completely overwhelmed. And at those times, what on earth do we do? How do we cope? This blog aims to answer those questions, so please stick around!
I often start these blogs with an example of what happened to me and how I learned what I discuss in this post, but please feel free to skip this section and jump straight to the next if you'd rather not read it.
How life has impacted me on top of OCD.
I've had OCD since early childhood and have experienced my fair share of upset on top of that. For today's post, I'm going to concentrate on one: the building collapse I was in a couple of years ago.
In February 2022, on a rare trip out, I visited a pub with some friends. I had only been there a few minutes when the mezzanine floor we were standing on gave way. It was a serious incident, declared a major emergency, and very traumatic for everyone involved. Thankfully, no one died, but it was a horrendous ordeal where I ended up in hospital and have been dealing with the impact pretty much ever since.
You can read about it here. That's me in the blue jacket in the main picture.
The incident had a profound impact on my mental health - it exacerbated my OCD, which is gutting because I was doing so well at managing the symptoms, and it added a big ol' layer of trauma to my symptoms.
I've completed one series of trauma therapy, and as I write this, I am currently a few sessions into PTSD therapy. Both with incredible NHS therapists - I feel very, very lucky.
Coping with OCD and Dealing with Additional Negative Events
I know a pub collapse is a little extreme, but I could just as easily be talking about a bereavement, a breakup, a job loss, an additional workload, a health concern, or even a fallout with a friend. All of these things drain an already depleted store of energy and ability to cope. And life can feel very bleak.
I try hard not to use toxic positivity. That whole plaster a smile on and fake it until you make it philosophy isn't helpful, but in hard times, I do find it helpful to try to find even the smallest of positives. For me, the one possible plus point to feeling more overwhelmed than ever is that it can give me more incentive to revisit what works for me in terms of self-care and recovery.
Let's explore this point in a little more detail.
Additional challenges in life on top of experiencing OCD can...
...encourage us to get professional help.
Many of us could probably live with mid-level disruptive OCD forever. Life is busy; therapy can use many resources, and putting it off is easy. Additional or worsening symptoms and increased distress can encourage us to reach out for the support we may not have asked for otherwise.
...prompt us to learn or refresh helpful skills!
No matter how many coping skills we have, we can still forget to use them or could benefit from a refresher. Additional stressful life events can prompt us to invest time and energy into practising and developing those helpful skills.
...encourage us to increase our self-care.
Life can get in the way of self-care in much the same way it can with therapy. Feeling low can prompt us to address our self-care choices, whether they're related to exercise, diet, alcohol intake, or our social life.
...encourage us to involve family members and friends
Involving family and friends can look like many different things. It can look like asking for practical help, such as childcare or sharing chores, or it can look like sharing your thoughts and concerns. Either way, when we are struggling, we may be more likely to look for support, which is good!
...harden our boundaries.
Knowing that we have a limited amount of energy can encourage us to protect what energy there is so we can use it to help us feel better.
Additional Points to Remember
It's also worth remembering that:
Coping skills can help with more than one thing!
Although some techniques are specific to trauma, OCD, or any mental health challenge, many of them work across the board. If you practise self-compassion skills, they will help you with everything. Eating a well-balanced diet and getting enough sleep will boost your mental well-being despite the challenges you are currently experiencing. So it may be that adjusting just one or two things can give you a massive boost!
You've probably already learned some beneficial skills to help you deal with new stressful life events.
All of us with OCD have learned about OCD. Whether through therapy, social media, or even just reading this blog, many of us already know what helps us. This can help put us in a strong position when new upsetting events occur because we have already started building a toolbox of helpful skills.
In Summary
As I mentioned at the beginning, OCD can be extremely tough, and dealing with additional upsetting and stressful live events on top can be so, so hard. You don't need to force yourself into finding the positive side of it, and you absolutely don't have to feel glad that something is horrible and overwhelming just so you get to learn new things. I WISH I didn't need to deal with the fallout of the pub collapse, and I'm sure you wish you weren't dealing with additional stress.
But when faced with the choice of putting our energies into wishing something hadn't happened or putting our energies into developing coping skills to help us deal with what has happened, it does make sense that we try to choose the latter.
If you are reading this and feeling overwhelmed, please know that it does get better. You won't always feel this way. Hold tight :)
Sending you loads of love,
Catherine xx
Further Reading:
Find out how to get support for your OCD here.
Self-compassion is an important part of recovery, and the great news is that it is a skill you can learn! Find out how here!
I've found using a gratitude journal so helpful. This month's newsletter (out 27th October '24) contains an activity that helps you explore everything you are grateful for. If you're reading this post before this date, you can sign up for this activity here. If it's after that date, please sign up anyway - we make free resources you can access monthly by signing up for the newsletter.
Come and join us at the wonderful world of Taming Olivia.
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